Each town or village anywhere in the world has their own unique characters that add to the charm and interest of a particular locality. Such individuals have a peerless slant on life and continue their existence at odds with the norm, regardless of public opinion. Indeed history is littered with such individuals who have made their own, unique contribution to human progress through time. Madame Yvette Gonad is such a person and this story tells of her singular contribution to the quality of life in Pascal sur Bonheme, a small rural French village in Provence.

Yvette Gonad was born on the 25^th May 1920 the third daughter of a poor farmer who worked hard to provide for his family on their small farm in Pascal sur Bonheme. Yvette had an idyllic childhood and did what she pleased and when she pleased. The reader should not consider her parents inadequate as they just valued a child’s freedom to pursue all that interested them during their formative years. Verily this seditious upbringing produced a unique individual unblemished by convention and the rules of society. She was polite, well mannered and grew into a charming young lady.

At the age of 19 Yvette married Jean Batique of the same parish and they had five healthy children, two boys and three girls. Jean and Yvette enjoyed forty-five years of happy marriage before Jean sadly died leaving his widow a small allowance on which to live. At this point in her life Yvette struggled to make ends meet but appreciated the small amounts of money her five children sent her regularly from their various homes around the world. She had just enough money to live comfortably but there was very little spare at the end of the month for luxuries.

In June 2000 Yvette decided to sell the farm to a small developer and used the money raised to purchase a small cottage in the centre of the village. She had always loved this particular cottage and dreamed that one day she would become the joint owner, with her husband and they would enjoy a happy retirement together. Sadly she only achieved one of her dreams.

Now aged 82 Yvette is smaller, thinner, grey haired but is still sprightly for her years. She continues to wear her black mourning clothes as a sign of respect but her personality and character shine through this dark apparel illuminating the lives of everyone who comes into contact with her radiant soul. Each morning Yvette sits in the cottage doorway after her breakfast and watches the world pass by. People stop to talk with her and she has numerous invitations for lunch and supper from her many friends. Life is good for Yvette and she lives for the day as she appreciates that we never know when our last day on earth may be.

There is one thing I have forgotten to tell you, dear reader. Yvette is an ex-champion yo-yo player. She was world champion from 1947 – 1958 and she still holds the record for the greatest number of ‘round the worlds’ (when the yo-yo is spun 360 degrees in full circle whilst being used). She is often seen playing with her yo-yo as she sits in her front doorway, much to the frequent delight of the local children.

On the day of her 82^nd birthday (25^th May 2002) she decided to visit her bank in the nearest town. She had a small business matter to attend to and wished to see the manager. She rode her moped the 25 kilometres along small, winding country lanes at some speed (her nickname, translated from French, was the Small Lady of Speed) and parked her overheating conveyance outside the bank and entered the building. As it was the first working day of the week the bank was full of customers and she waited patiently in the queue casually reading a leaflet. There was a sudden commotion behind her as two armed raiders entered the banking hall demanding money. The whole place became chaotic and one of the robbers shot a single shot into the ceiling demanding order. As the last pieces of ceiling plaster fell impotently to the floor the bank became silent, the calm before the storm.

"Now you all will remain calm and don’t make any sudden moves or you will get it!" snarled the first masked intruder with a strong French accent. He approached the number one cashier. "Now give us all you’ve got in used notes and put them in this bag and be quick about it!"

The nervous cashier started to gather the contents of the cash drawers with trembling hands. The second armed robber said,

"Don’t forget the cash in the safe, we have plenty of time!"

The first criminal stood watch at the main entrance and turned the sign round to ‘ferme’ on the glass door. The customers remained still, stunned by this violation but Yvette Gonad became incensed by their impudence, as she did not want her hard earned cash to be taken by such scoundrels. Without drawing unnecessary attention to herself she reached into her handbag and withdrew her pocket yo-yo. With one swift flick the heavy plastic equipment struck a single blow to the first robber’s temple. He fell to the floor as lead and lay unconscious. The second robber fired several shots above the heads of the customers and staff in panic but another single flick of her wrists sent the gun flying to the floor. An off duty gendarme restrained the man and tied his wrists together with tape, provided by the cashier who breathed a sigh of relief.

The following morning Madame Gonad was sitting in her front doorway when a newspaper was placed gently and unceremoniously on her lap by her next-door neighbour’s granddaughter. The news headline read ‘Old Lady Disarms Armed Intruders with Yo-Yo!’ She smiled to herself and prepared to meet her friends and other newspaper reporters eager for another follow up story. She took these public intrusions in humility and good grace giving everyone the information they required including a splendid tea.

It was at this moment that Yvette Gonad decided to write a book ‘A Hundred and One Things to do with the Common Yo-Yo.’ But first she had to do some research.

After three weeks she had discovered, or invented, 75 different uses for a yo-yo. Some were common sense and fairly routine but others were more bizarre. She came across the 76^th use as she was walking through her village. Claudette Barnard’s cat was stuck in a tree and the firemen were not able to shift the stubborn, elderly cat, or even entice it from its lair by food. Using her stunt yo-yo (that had an extra long chord) she sent a single volley into the tree that caught the cat on its plump rump. After emitting a loud screech it ran down the tree trunk and into the open kitchen door to finish its breakfast without a care in the world. The crowd clapped in appreciation as Madame Gonad wound her stunt yo-yo back up and placed it in her handbag.

Later on in the afternoon Yvette practised switching the lights on and off with her smallest yo-yo. She had discovered the 77^th use by chance and imagination.

During the summer months Yvette worked hard writing her book that would become a great bestseller, especially because of the recent media interest but she struggled to find the final, 101^st use. For days she had racked her elderly but alert brain to find the solution but none would come. She decided to spend a few days away at a seaside resort to rest her ‘little grey cells’ and chose the Port of Bordeaux for the location.

On the fourth day of her visit she spent a pleasant morning visiting the Croisieur Colbert Ship Museum. She enjoyed walking around the French military ship and had lunch in the splendid, authentic restaurant. After lunch she ambled through the Port buildings and decided to watch the boats and ships pass through the automated bridge that raised its bascules for passing shipping. She watched in awe as the bascules raised and boats of various sizes passed through as she enjoyed the pleasant sunshine. Yvette felt relaxed and knew that inspiration would soon come to her.

A few minutes later she watched two children (aged about 10) start to cycle over the bridge ignoring the red traffic lights and automatic barrier. She wondered why the bridge operator was not shouting at them through the loudspeaker. Yvette looked towards the control cabin and saw the middle-aged man holding his chest and his face was heavily contorted in pain. She moved quickly towards him to offer assistance forgetting the plight of the two child cyclists. As she approached he slumped forward and his body pushed the mini lever thereby starting the cycle for raising the bascules. The warning sirens commenced and red lights flashed all around her. Yvette tried the door but it was locked for reasons of security. She tried to reach the man through the glass-sliding window but it was only partially opened and secured by a catch out of arm’s reach. She turned in the direction of the screams. The children were struggling to maintain their balance on the growing incline and were in peril of being thrown back to the ground risking substantial injury. She had no choice and pulled out her stunt yo-yo. In one swift flick the yo-yo hit the lever and pulled it back to the closed position. A second flick opened the door bolt and medical attention was given access. Yvette was given the key to the city and enjoyed several more nights of entertainment paid for by the city authorities. It also provided her with some free marketing for her forthcoming book now she had the 101^st use.

When she returned to Pascal sur Bonheme she received some worrying news. The daughter of the local baker had been diagnosed with leukaemia and was only given a few months to live unless she received expensive medical cancer treatment. As her father was only a poor baker he could not afford medical insurance and his options were limited. Yvette mulled the problem over in her mind and came to a decision fuelled by her natural compassion. She locked her front door and walked the few metres to the bakery. She knocked on the back door and watched a tall man approach the door with all the concerns of the world on his capable shoulders.

"Pierre, I have a business proposition to discuss with you," Yvette announced when the distraught man opened the door.

"Madame Gonad, so good of you to call. Please come in," he replied wiping the flour from his hands on his white overalls. Yvette was shown into the back room where poor Marie lay asleep on the sofa covered in a grey blanket. Her face was pale, thin and emaciated as the cancer had already taken hold. She had the demeanour of death but Yvette was prepared to fight for this worthwhile cause.

"Now, Pierre I have a suggestion to make to you. I know that you cannot afford the money for Marie’s expensive treatment but I have the means to help you."

"Madame we cannot accept your charity as you yourself do not have the financial means to raise the money," he replied despondently but gracefully.

"Indeed, Pierre, you are quire correct in your assumption. I do not have any spare money at the moment but I do have a skill, old as I am, that I can use to help your plight," she suggested cautiously.

"What skill would that be Madame?"

"I propose to enter the World Yo-Yo Championships and receive sponsorship from as many people as possible. Through my new contacts with the media I should raise some interest and let’s face it how many grannies of my age will enter the championship?"

Pierre was stunned into silence.

"I have researched the matter thoroughly and have already sent off the application form. If I win you can keep the prize money to pay for Marie’s treatment. If I lose you can keep what’s left of my sponsorship money. Either way Marie cannot lose out but if I win she will be better provided for. With the money you can buy the best specialists and latest treatment for your daughter. Would you deny her this opportunity?"

Pierre paused and realised that Madame Gonad had thought the whole matter through and it was not just one of her flights of fancy. "Very well, Madame, I agree and thank you for your kindness. Your charitable act will not go unnoticed and I wish you, for our Marie’s sake, God’s speed!" Pierre shook Yvette somewhat forcibly by the hand in agreement. She left with a full heart to complete her preparations.

Yvette spent her last savings on a new Japanese Yo-Yo featuring carbon fibre technology and an unusual draw mechanism that was a closely guarded secret. The Won-Ton Yo-Yo was considered to be the best yo-yo in the world and Yvette considered it to be a good investment. She then approached the Bordeaux Port Authority and the Bank of the Albergne for sponsorship. They readily agreed and jointly funded her flight, expenses and accommodation whilst in Los Angeles, the global venue for the competition.

Yvette found the city of Los Angeles an overwhelming experience. Its sheer size, traffic and vitality was a surprise to her but she soon got used to the speed of life in this bustling, vibrant city.

On her first night she was having supper in a quiet French restaurant that made her feel at home. Although she ate alone a crowd of photographers were waiting outside eager to catch a glimpse of her. They were about to witness a double scoop as the current champion, Derek Bland, arrived to eat at the same restaurant. He had been champion for the past three years and was not prepared to give up his title especially to an old woman. As he walked into the restaurant he recognised his adversary and walked towards her table with a confident bounce in his stride.

"Madame Gonad, this is indeed a pleasure. Would you mind if I joined you for supper?" he asked offering his adversary a sly grin.

"Monsieur, I am not in the habit of dining with complete strangers, therefore I reject your offer and wish to be left alone." Yvette dismissed him with her sparkling eyes.

"I understand Madame, but if I were to tell you that I am Derek Bland, the current Yo- Yo champion, would you change your mind?" He offered her a broader grin confidently.

"Well, monsieur, that is indeed a different matter entirely. I would be happy for you to join me."

Derek Bland sat down on the spare chair and placed the serviette on his lap expectantly.

"Did you have a pleasant journey to Los Angeles, Madame?"

"Yes, it was remarkable as I have never flown before. I watched a movie, ate good food and drank good wine. I could not fault the service by Air France." Derek looked disinterested as though he had something on his mind.

"Look, Madame, I will not beat about the bush. I am admired for my directness and have a proposition for you. I have read of your phenomenal reputation in the history books and consider you to be a formidable opponent."

"You are too kind, monsieur," she replied giving him another sparkle from her mischievous eyes. He continued,

"I understand that you are also very short of money and wish to raise significant funds to help a poor French girl receive cancer treatment. I can help you with this."

"But how, monsieur?"

"I could give you a donation towards your funds, say $10,000."

"That is very kind. I trust that your donation is unconditional."

"Unfortunately not, Madame. For this money you would have to arrange for your departure from the championship. You may use any excuse you wish. That will be your choice but the money, in this very attaché case, will only become yours if you throw the championship!" he said almost whispering his secret to avoid detection.

Yvette sipped her wine slowly to consider his generous and attractive offer. She wondered what her husband would have done. The $10,000 would provide the treatment that Marie required but without honour. She would disappoint many fellow countrymen and have to carry this dishonour to her grave. Was she prepared to do this?

"Monsieur, I wish you to leave immediately taking the case of dishonour with you. If you resist I will personally approach the reporters outside and disclose your dishonourable proposal. The next time we meet will be as competitors and may the best man, or woman win! Good night, monsieur!" Yvette threw her serviette in his general direction and placed her hands in her lap patiently awaiting his departure.

"You have made a big mistake, Madame. I will beat you in front of the whole world and you will retire penniless. You have made a poor choice and will regret it bitterly."

"That may well be but I will know that I have done the very best I can through my own skill, not your idle, indolent generosity!"

Derek Bland left with his tail between his legs and ordered a separate table as far away from Madame Gonad as possible. He sat with his plump back facing her in complete dismissal. Their discourse did not go unnoticed by the reporters and they questioned Yvette heavily as she got into her waiting taxi. She told them that they were just meeting each other prior to the championship. Yvette didn’t care if the media didn’t believe her. She was certain of one thing, she had done the right thing for the honour of her country, dead husband and friends.

After three days of the competition the finalist were chosen, Madame Yvette Gonad (France) and Professor Derek Bland (Canada). The final was arranged for the following Thursday and the eyes of the world were watching via the miracle of satellite technology.

In the back room of the Pascal sur Bonheme bakery Pierre, his wife and Marie watched the flickering satellite picture from Los Angeles on their old black and white TV. They were sitting on the edge of their seats as Madame Gonad came onto the podium. They watched as she gathered her thoughts and then started her well-rehearsed routine. The audience were astounded at her agility, marksmanship and control of her Japanese yo-yo. They gasped at her double reflex bungee, they applauded wildly at her triple reverberating snatch and the crowd went silent as she finished with her ‘piece de resistance’ - the return bouncer. She took a bow and sat down ready for her points. Yvette scored 98 out of 100 points, the highest score ever in any championship and the crowd (even the world) showed their appreciation in the usual manner with great enthusiasm.

Yvette Gonad carefully wound up her yo-yo as she watched Derek Bland walk onto the stage. He received a good American welcome and the crowd were eager to see his routine. He started with an expertly execute triple reverberating snatch followed by a double whammy that caused a great deal of audience response. He ended his routine with the standard return bouncer but lost control within the final seconds. The yo-yo ended up motionless in the centre of the stage and the crowd groaned followed by polite clapping. In their minds there was no reason to see the scoreboard, as they knew who the new World Championship winner would be. The digital score board showed 90 points and the audience repeated their polite clapping for tradition’s sake.

Both Yvette and Derek were invited onto the stage. Derek was forced to hand over the medal and championship cup to his rival who duly accepted them in good grace. Yvette, as the new champion, made a short speech and thanked her sponsors and the stadium flashed with photography and genuine appreciation for the senior skilled player.

In a complete break from tradition Derek took the microphone and the stadium fell into immediate silence.

"Ladies and gentlemen. There is something that you should know about Madame Yvette Gonad. She has travelled all this way to raise funds for a little French girl who is dying of leukaemia. Most people would have stayed at home but not this lady!" The crowd clapped wildly in agreement. "To my shame I tried to bribe Madame Gonad to throw the championship for a lousy $10,000. For this I am ashamed and feel obliged to offer her the sum of $20,000 to make up for this most, as she put it, dishonourable act. Before you is a true champion that the world will probably never see again. Enjoy her skill and honesty, she is a credit to humanity at its finest! I give you Yvette Gonad!"

The stadium roof was nearly blown off by the sheer volume of applause and appreciation. Yvette dried her eyes and walked to the front of the podium to share her joy with the world. Across the Atlantic the villagers of Pascal sur Bonheme shed tears of joy but none could match those shed within the confines of the bakery.

"Madame, have I got the hang of it yet?" asked Marie proudly wearing a red bandana to cover her baldhead.

"Nearly, mon cher. Try to hold the string between your thumb and forefinger just as I showed you," replied Madame Gonad as she polished her new brass letterbox.

"I feel much better now and it’s all thanks to you!" replied Marie as she wound her yo-yo in preparation.

"You are too kind my dear! Now I want you to practise the double flip. Yesterday you nearly got it. Today you will with patience, determination and application!"

"Very well, Madame I will try my very best," replied Marie, her leukaemia now in full remission.

From the baker’s window both husband and wife embraced watching their daughter achieve something that they never thought possible – an untarnished future.

5^th August 2002.